There comes a day in every man's journey when he realizes that liquid carbs, midnight pizza, and 8 hours of non-stop video gaming is not a sustainable way of living. Usually this realization comes shortly after college, but for others it can take years to change their ways and sadly, others will never change at all. For those that never change, we see the shallow birth shipwrecks of their physical fitness just off the shores of our own lives and shudder in fear.
"Could that be me? Could I just stop caring like that? Will I still be watching animated movies while drinking milkshakes and eating fried chicken in my living room at age 40?"
For me (and a few friends) the new answer is a resounding NO.
You see, I'm a Christian and I believe that all things come to us by the grace of God - be it food, money, health, relationships, or anything else you can imagine. Now in that "anything else you can imagine" there are things that can be mis-used or over-used or under-used. Restraint, for instance, is something that is under-used when dealing with a lot of hot emotional items. Brownies, as another example, are something that are often OVER-used due, in part, to their deliciousness.
Basically what I'm getting at is that I am a believer in good Christian discipline. If God has given me life, my response is going to be to give it back to him in praise, adoration, and effort to spread His love. Now do I want to give him a shoddy, piece of crap out of shape body that can only stand up for 15 minutes before being completely exhausted or do I want to give him a healthy body that is capable of doing more and more of the tasks that He puts before me? DING DING! I want the latter. I want to be in shape and healthy for whatever God may call me to do because I believe my most fulfilled life is the life where I'm most active in God's will.
But lets say you aren't that "spiritual" of a person. Maybe you went to church three years ago on Easter because the girl you were dating at the time was a Bible thumper and you were trying to "get jiggy wit it" so you went that Sunday and haven't been back since. Maybe you were raised in a different faith or you just don't believe in "superstitious hocus-pocus." Well okay. Here is a list of 5 other reasons why I would stop living like a lard and start a LIFESTYLE CHANGE (read: not merely a diet/exercise plan) that keeps you fit and ready for anything.
1) THE LADIES.
Okay, so we know how important physical crap is to us men, but a little known fact is that ladies actually do care, (to varying degrees) about what a man looks like. If you're single or married, I promise you that whatever woman is in your life will not be upset at you for losing your gut and being able to do your best in the field. Even if you are physically disabled in some way, there is
something you can do to show that you're still active, interested in being active, or in other ways a complete boss. This earns definite points.
GOOD NEWS. For some reason unbeknownst to men, women are usually not as shallow as us so you don't have to look like Gerard Butler and Brad Pitt's mystery lovechild who's an Olympic athlete to win their hearts. Typically, they heavily weigh sense of humor, integrity, commitment, and other such BS (lolol jk) into the mix. Studies also suggest that women like "toned and athletic" body types much more than "mega-muscle super-ripped Spartan" body types. As it turns out, ultra-ripped guys impress other guys more often than they do women. MOST women. That means optimum results are more achievable!
The main points to remember about getting in shape for womenfolk are that if you haven't met a woman yet, looks are the FIRST impression she gets (not the most important) and you can improve your odds by staying in shape - and if you are already in a relationship, she ain't gonna be mad at it, and it will likely pay dividends in other ways ((WINK WINK)).
2) IMPRESS YOUR FRIENDS.
We have all had that moment when we've been lying around being lazy and one of our super-fit friends is like "I'm going to go climb a mountain and take pictures of Eagles and shiz! Wanna come?"
and we are all like, choking on our own neck-fat while replying, "Nah man, I got to watch the new reality tv show where I can see other people do things without having to do anything myself."
That sense of shame you feel is not to be ignored ... IT IS THE ONLY THING KEEPING YOU FROM AN EARLY GRAVE. By eating right and exercising you can accept the call to action and do active things and even if you aren't as good at them as your friends are, you will still earn some respect points for the attempt. DATS what I'm talking about.
3) BE READY FOR IMPENDING DOOM.
When I was a cashier at a drug store in high school I used to fantasize about someone coming in and holding me up at gunpoint, and me skillfully disarming them, making them lay on the floor, call me uncle, and hold them until police arrived. I feel like most men have some version of this "badass" dream. When shart hits the fan, we want to be able to rise to the occasion, protect those whom we love, and maybe walk away in slow motion while something blows up behind us that we can't be bothered to look at.
It stands to reason that when the zombies rise up or when the (insert terrifying foreign power) attacks, we want to be ready like minutemen to grab something deadly and run at the assailant and hunt them down like the animals they are. You aren't going to be able to do that if you've spent the last 3 years of your life using the scooter kart on every trip to Walmart.
4) EXPERIENCE LIFE AT A HIGHER QUALITY
When you are healthier, you feel better. When you feel better you enjoy doing things. Doing things is a large part of what we call "the experience of life." A few weeks ago I spent almost 12 hours at a theme park having a blast. If I continue in my current lifestyle of over-eating and under-exercising for the next 20 years, I will almost certainly not be able to go to a theme park with my family and spend 12 hours there without hating everything and giving someone the finger that doesn't deserve it.
There is a documentary on Netflix about the Appalachian Trail and in it they follow a dude that hiked all 2,168 miles; Not that impressive until you realize the dude was like 70. SEVENTY. Genetics plays a role in how long you're able to be fit and active like that but making a lifestyle change earlier in your life almost certainly improves your odds of being able to experience great things well into a ripe old age.
5) BRING TRUE JOY TO EATING.
And speaking of hiking, on one of my first hiking outings with some friends we went three days in the woods eating nothing but dehydrated doo-doo from a bag. When we got back to our cars we zipped along the curvy mountain backroads until we wound up in a small town that just-so-happened to have a Bojangles. Bojangles, for those who are not initiated, has heavenly buttery biscuits, crunchy cajun chicken, and slap-yer-mama good sweet tea. I've eaten Bojangles probably a hundred times in my life, but never - NEVER - did it taste as good to me as it did when I had come 3 days off the trail. The great thing is, my body was ROCKED and so all that unhealthy food was actually useful. It's a total win/win. If you eat sensibly 95% of the time and work out - you can eat like a pig that final 5% and it will not only taste better to you, but it will keep your body guessing and in better metabolic shape.
This is a prime example of things being good, their best even, when enjoyed in moderation.
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Two friends and myself have taken a pledge to kick this new lifestyle off in style and it's going to be documented right here on this blog. You can follow along ... or not, we don't care, because we are awesome and we are GOING to stick with it this time (see above reasons).
To get things started right, we have each taken "before" pictures to have a reference point for where we started. Here is mine (note how skillfully unattractive I made myself appear to improve motivation) along with some STATS.
Height: 6'2"
Weight: 188
Average mile jogging pace: 9:30
Max Bench (actually tested): 140
Status: Needs Improvement
